QUESTION:
Dear Jasmin,
I read your interesting article on snake dancing called "Snakes and Shakes". What I’ve learned over the many years that I have belly danced is that I have to dance with snakes all the time—the kind that have two legs! I love this dance and met many fantastic women, but I have also met just as many who are slithering, slimy, hisssterical creatures that thrive on gossip and jealousy. The negative side of this dance world is desperately ignored by the good people, until the snakes bite. Then, it is the good people who painfully, unnecessarily suffer.
Some true examples:
1) A sweet person tried to start a new belly dance magazine, gathered supporters and learned the ropes of publishing. It was hard work that was suddenly complicated by not one but several snakes that attacked the magazine in an effort to stop its birth and growth. Why? Because the magazine producer was a friend to a seminar sponsor that the snakes did not like. They publicly slandered the producer’s reputation as well as her magazine, and were even clever enough to send an Internet virus through the computer. The virus successfully and permanently damaged the computer. In less than one year, the producer gave up and dissolved the publication. All money and fun was lost to these venomous bites.
2) A dance troupe existed for years, unfortunately housing some sly snakes that
were jealous of their teacher’s dance success. One day, they turned against
their teacher, trying to hurt her spotless reputation by lying about stealing
choreographed material and by telling other dancers that their teacher was a
control freak and a racist. These snakes still spread lies even though
the teacher remains innocent and continues to keep her dignity.
3) A snake grew to national acclaim and then decided to convince others that
she deserved even more by spreading malicious gossip about those she saw as
her competition, even though at one time in the past these ‘competitors’
had once been her friends. Because she thought the friendships were not useful
anymore, the snake spread ugly gossip and sent email messages to her competitors’
students, attempting to convince them to abandon their loyalty and support the
snake instead.
These are just a sample of snake bites that I have come across either personally
or through belly dance friends. It is totally disheartening to learn that there
are so many snakes out there. Their venom is delivered by passive aggression,
and their motives are only to get ahead or make themselves feel like they are
better than others. Any advice on how to deal with the fact that every
good person who enters this dance with joy will someday stumble into a vicious
snake pit?
Signed, Gameela, SC
ADVICE:
Dear Gameela,
Having been an oriental dancer for the past 25 years, I must reluctantly admit that you are right. There is a negative side to the belly dance world, just as there is in any field that involves competitive, insecure egos. I, too, have danced with snakes and experienced their bites. Personally, I’d rather dance with real snakes (and I’m deathly afraid of them) than deal with the kind with two legs. Those dancers who have genuine talent and good intention will always be victim to the snakes who cannot make it on their own integrity and talent. The good people within this art need to brace themselves, remove their rose-colored glasses and take a stand against snakes. There are several ways to do so. You may courageously challenge the lies and keep your head (and standards) held high. Perhaps you do so in an open confrontation. This is not easy because the snakes actually want a reaction from you and often are very good at turning your words against you. Sometimes it is best if you walk away and detach from their toxic entanglements. The snakes are truly not worth your energy. The venom can’t work unless you allow it. At the very least, don’t give the snakes the pleasure of witnessing your pain. Whenever you come across, and have reason to believe ,someone is a snake, refuse to dance and associate with her. And when you have to confront a snake, try laughter—it can make even Medusa shrivel and slither away.
To those good people out there in the belly dance world, stand proud and stand together!
Ya Salaam, Jasmin Jahal
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©2002 Jasmin Jahal